Vylar Kaftan

Hawaii pics

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:42:16 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I almost forgot. Hawaii pics.

If you don’t want to dig through them all, here’s my favorite. Though the picture of Shannon “after coffee” is pretty awesome too.

At the Fish Hopper

Readercon schedule

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:46:21 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

>>>>> Readercon 20 Participant Schedule: Vylar Kaftan

Thursday 9:00 PM, Salon B: PanelYou Don’t Know Dictionary! Lila Garrott, Greer Gilman, Vylar Kaftan (L),
Sarah Micklem, Sonya Taaffe
** Leader (Participant / Moderator) **

There’s no need to make up new words when there’s so many great unknown
old ones. Tolkien introduced many readers to the likes of “wain” and
“fell” (in the sense of fierce and cruel), while later writers such as
Greer Gilman and Gene Wolfe have gone much further in plumbing the depths
of unabridged dictionaries. Our panelists share their adventures with
prodigious vocabularies and blank pages. And for the reader, what are the
pros and cons of relying on context versus consulting the Book?

Friday 1:00 PM, Suite 830: Workshop (120 min.)

How Acting Techniques Can Enhance your Writing. Inanna Arthen with
participation by Nick Antosca, Kathryn Cramer, Laurel Anne Hill, Vylar
Kaftan, Caitlin R. Kiernan
** Tentatively Scheduled — If you wish to not be listed in the Program
Guide (and hence not be expected / committed to show), please let us know
ASAP! **

Recent neurological studies have shown that readers’ brains react to
fiction as though they were experiencing the events. The line between
written and performed art is blurring more and more as young readers grow
up in the age of instant video, YouTube, and podcast fiction. Acting
training and awareness can thus be hugely helpful for successful fiction
writing in the 21st century. We’ll cover “four-dimensional writing” using
physicalization, pacing, dialogue flow, description, and setting the
scene. Wear comfortable clothes and expect to participate actively! (2
hrs)

Friday 6:00 PM, RI: Workshop (60 min.)

Speculative Poetry Workshop. Mike Allen with participation by Leah Bobet,
Michael A. Burstein, Vylar Kaftan, Ernest Lilley
** Tentatively Scheduled — If you wish to not be listed in the Program
Guide (and hence not be expected / committed to show), please let us know
ASAP! **

What is speculative poetry? How do you write it, why would you want to,
and which editors will buy it? Come prepared to write on the fly.

Friday 8:00 PM, ME/ CT: Talk / Discussion (60 min.)

Annual Interstitial Arts (IAF) Town Meeting. Ellen Kushner with
discussion by Liz Gorinsky, Theodora Goss, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Shira
Lipkin, Delia Sherman, John Shirley, Sarah Smith, Catherynne M. Valente
** Optional Extra Item — If you wish to commit to showing up and be
listed in the Program Guide as a discussant or participant, please let us
know ASAP! (Check the online Grid to see if it works!**

Interstitial Art falls in the interstices of recognized genres. The
Interstitial Arts Foundation is a group of “Artists Without Borders”
fighting the Balkanization of art. They celebrate work that crosses or
straddles the borders between media, the borders between genres, the
borders between “high art” and popular culture. They are not opposed to
mainstream fiction or genre fiction, nor are they seeking to create a new
category. They are just particularly excited by border-crossing fiction
(and music and art), and want to support the creation of such works and to
establish better ways of engaging with them. The IAF has had a presence at
Readercon from its beginning. In 2007, in cooperation with Small Beer
Press, the IAF published Interfictions: An Anthology of Interstitial
Writing edited by Delia Sherman and Theodora Goss, and in fall 2009 they
will present Interfictions 2, edited by Delia Sherman and Christopher
Barzak. They are also doing a lot with visual arts. Interstitial Arts is
an idea, a conversation, not a hard-and-fast definition-and it’s a
conversation you are invited to join.

Saturday 10:30 AM, VT: Reading (30 min.)

“Break the Vessel.” [Actually, I think I'll have to read something else; Break the Vessel is too long.]

Saturday 2:00 PM, RI: Workshop (120 min.)

Where Do You Get Your Ideas? Improv for Writers. Ellen Klages with
participation by Nick Antosca, Inanna Arthen, Jeffrey A. Carver, Craig
Shaw Gardner, Victoria Janssen, Vylar Kaftan, Shira Lipkin, Jennifer
Pelland, Chuck Rothman
** Tentatively Scheduled — If you wish to not be listed in the Program
Guide (and hence not be expected / committed to show), please let us know
ASAP! **

Remember when writing was fun? If you’re stuck, out of ideas, or if your
Editor/Critic keeps shutting down your muse-get out of your head and into
this class. We’re going to improvise, play with our imaginations, and
rediscover our creativity. We’ll explore characters, settings, plot
twists, and dialogue, all using simple theater games. What bubbles up
will be the basis for a few short writing exercises. Wear comfortable
clothing, and come prepared to laugh. (2 hrs)

Sunday 12:00 Noon, Vineyard: Kaffeeklatsch [Journeyman Writers Meeting. A meeting for any writer with one or more SFWA-qualifying sales. We'll talk business, craft, marketing, or whatever else people want. If you're not sure if you're eligible, talk to me.]

Readercon programming gave me (and everyone?) less than 24 hours to respond to this schedule, so I couldn’t get them timely feedback. I’ll try to attend everything that they asked me to, including the optionals. For the reading… hmm. Maybe Scar Stories and What President Polk Said? I might have time for a flash fiction story too.

Also, I’ll be reading at the blood drive from 1-2. All flash fiction pieces, since I expect this to be Short Attention Span Theatre. Come give away precious bodily fluids while I stir your brainmeats into jelly!

See y’all there.

Lots of writing news

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:55:38 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I have been swamped and not posting here much. So here’s a bunch of writing news updates, which will soon appear on my site as well.

“Break the Vessel” will be podcast at Pseudopod. I’ll let you know when it’s up. This is the “poop story.”
Sybil’s Garage 6 is out now, and includes “Fulgurite.” This is the “unicorn cockroach sex story.”
The Cinema Spec anthology is out, and includes “Starshow,” the “goddamn the universe is a lonely place” story.
Phantom, a dark fiction anthology like Bandersnatch, will be out at Readercon. It contains “What President Polk Said,” aka the “insane Gold Rush miner” story. [Does anyone else have shorthand names for their stories like this?]
Speaking of Readercon, I’ll be there. I’ll put my schedule in a separate post. I’ll also be at World Fantasy later this year (but not WorldCon, sorry).

Aaaand, two public readings of my fiction:

Borderlands Books (San Francisco) on Thursday, July 23rd at 7:00 PM. I’ll be part of the Clarion Themed Reading with Amelia Beamer, Rachel Swirsky, and Tim Pratt. I’m not sure what I’m reading yet, but possibly either “Scar Stories” or “What President Polk Said.”
Kilgore Books (Denver) on Friday, Aug 14 at 6:30 PM. I’ll be part of the Sybil’s Garage 6 reading with Jason Heller and Sean Markey. I’m reading “Fulgurite” and possibly also another story. I’ll have copies of Bandersnatch and Phantom available for sale.

I like frogs. Frogs are cute. Ribbit.

Also, the Write-a-thon continues! I’m grateful to everyone who’s sponsoring me; it really keeps me motivated. I feel like I have a firm commitment and I’ve got to make my time work for me. If anyone else wants to pledge, the link has all the information, including my project. I’m making a worldbuilding wiki for the novel I’m writing this fall. One sponsor will get to see the actual wiki.

Thank you for your generosity and support! And thanks for reading my news items.

Readercon carpool?

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:55:07 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I’m looking for alternate plans to get to Readercon. Anyone interested in a carpool? Shannon and I are looking to leave the Boston airport on Thursday morning or afternoon, and return to the airport early Monday morning. We’re happy to offer gas money. Please let me know if you can help. Thanks!

Clarion West Write-a-Thon

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:46:28 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I’m participating in the Clarion West Write-a-thon this year. Clarion West is a wonderful science fiction and fantasy writing workshop, and a great program to support.

Here’s my project page. I need a kick in the butt–so any sponsors are
greatly appreciated! You can support me in in a few ways:

1) Pledge a donation to Clarion West if I meet my goal. Any amount is helpful.
2) Offer friendly support if I want to talk through ideas or bitch about
something.
3) Or both, of course.

Here’s the page that talks about my writing project. I’m building a wiki about my fictional world. Think Middle Earth meets 18th century Turkey. One of my sponsors will get the chance to explore the wiki and see what I’ve done.

And here’s the main Write-a-Thon page if you want more info.

Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you, on behalf of Clarion West! And on my own behalf, since sponsorships and official deadlines are excellent motivators for me.

I’m back

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:32:07 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I’m catching up on things. Hawaii was awesome. Pictures soon.

Off to Hawaii

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 14:01:23 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I’ll be offline. Don’t talk about anything interesting while I’m gone.

Things to do in Hawaii next week

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 16:02:13 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

–stick my nose into a volcano
–make a bed of fresh pineapple and eat myself to sleep
–survey my underwater empire via snorkel
–build a fort out of umbrella drinks
–SLEEP

How approachable are you?

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 15:25:24 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

How often do people ask you for directions?

Some of my friends report it happens frequently. Others never get asked. Presumably it has a lot to do with snap judgments: how approachable do you look? Do you seem like someone who knows where they’re going? Do you look like someone willing to talk to a stranger? And so on.

The number of people asking me for help lately has increased sharply. Something has changed. Here’s the two major changes I’ve made in the last year.

1) I cut off 30 inches off hair. I went from a sort-of Berkeley college student look to… whatever I am now. Arguably more professional looking, though I still wear simple cotton t-shirts/pants and sweatshirts almost everywhere.
2) I wear pink. I never used to do this, even though I like pink, because I didn’t want to look too “girly.” Now that my haircut makes me look like a boy from the back, I’m a lot happier about wearing the color–usually in medium and softer shades.

I think (though I’m not sure) that it’s the second one. Intuitively, it feels like when I wear pink, more strangers start talking to me. I could see the logic that “someone wearing pink will be more friendly than someone wearing black.” (Maybe I need a pink spiky collar.)

Also, at the age when I was thinnest, I had more people asking me for directions. Presumably that was about our societal obsession with thin = attractive. (It could be about looking young, but I don’t think so because the questions stopped when I gained some weight.)

I’m sure there’s a race analysis for all this, but I don’t feel qualified to describe it. Go ahead, if you want.

So what’s your experience? Do lots of people ask you for directions on the street? Or never? How about your spouse, or a best friend you spend lots of time with? Who gets asked?

Oof, what a week.

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 01:13:24 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I got a lot done. I didn’t do half the things I promised to. I have a to-do list that’s at least twice as long as the things I actually did.

This seemed like a reasonable workload when I set it up. Apparently I’ve gotten too ambitious again. I suppose that’s better than the alternative.

I leave for Hawaii in just over a week. First real vacation in three years. I need it. Of course, I’m taking work along with me…

Animals are smarter than we think

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:52:47 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

Five animals that outwitted humans.

My favorite is the bear who trashed the security cameras. Now I want a pet bear.

Quiz: which fantasy writer are you?

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:30:13 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

Which fantasy writer are you?

The scale is 45 to -45. Here’s my scores.

9 High-Brow, -15 Violent, 15 Experimental and 5 Cynical!

Note that a -15 Violent actually means Peaceful.

And that means…

Philip Pullman

Congratulations! You are High-Brow, Peaceful, Experimental and Cynical! These concepts are defined below.

Philip Pullman was already a prominent author of children’s books when he published his most praised work to date, the trilogy known as His Dark Materials (1995-2000). In this work, set both in parallel worlds and our own, Pullman made a courageous attempt to write a book for young readers which incorporated a whole vision of the universe, as well as a discussion of ethical issues. He managed to combine this with a burst of thought-provoking and entertaining imagination, bringing to life a Europe where the church is still in control, “souls” that have been externalised as animal presences, intelligent, sentient polar bears and much more. The series have been described as a sort of “anti-Narnia”, as Pullman’s attempt to write an updated variant of the kind of books C S Lewis, whom Pullman has criticized for having racist, misogynic and preaching tendencies, wanted to write. His Dark Materials has also spawned some controversy among Christians, who see the the work as an attack against Christianity, Pullman being one of Britain’s most outspoken atheists. Other Christians have, however, claimed to have found spirituality in the books.

Either way, Pullman’s combination of renewal and expansion of the genre, his profound messages on the value of life and his refusal to under-estimate his young readers’ ability to see life as it is makes Pullman one of the most interesting and important writers of modern fantasy.

I am delighted.

Surprised that I came out so peaceful, though. I think it’s because I am a strong believer in peace, which is why I write such violent stuff sometimes. So my work is often violent, but it’s in order to show the horror of violence.

By the way, my choice on the final question about “what should fantasy be, at its best” was: A label for stories that push the boundaries of what it’s possible to write about.

Question meme

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:40:37 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

From netmouse.

“The problem with Livejournal is that we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. Hence, I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don’t know about you.”

So… ask. Something you think you should know, but don’t.

Go ahead, get eaten

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:20:56 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I run a fast-paced flash fiction contest for the Codex writers’ group called Weekend Warrior. One of the top-placing stories this year was from Tina Connolly. I’m not surprised that it sold; it’s awesome. It’s at Brain Harvest, a great new sf/f flash fiction magazine.

Here, go read it. Hard Choices. It’s less than 750 words. And you might get eaten.

Diversity number-crunching

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 21:24:30 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

Since a few people asked how long it took me to do those stats: 133 characters took roughly 5 hours (some of which was fighting with Excel, which I’m not good at).

Aliettedb reports her results–172 characters took her about 2 hours. I guess she’s smarter than me. Marshallpayne1’s results for 107 characters took 3 hours.

So if anyone was thinking about trying this, but worried it’d take too long–it’s easier than it looks. If you’ve got a ton of stories, you could limit it to only the last two years or whatever makes sense to you. I didn’t count anything in my finished drafts, for example–just published and circulating stories.

Diversity statistics: a follow-up

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:51:29 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

This is a follow-up to my previous post analyzing the diversity of my stories.

Countesslovlace suggested looking only at my protagonists to see how diverse they were. Good idea. So let’s see.

Gender, Race, Sexual Orientation, Age, Class, and Ability by Protagonist.

40 protagonists. For aliens, I give their age as the approximate human equivalent. Remember that straight* means they show interest in the opposite sex, but we can’t rule out bisexuality.

45.0% female, 52.5% male, 2.5% other (machine)
30.0% Caucasian, 45.0% unknown, 15.0% people of color, 10.0% other (aliens, machine)
60.0% straight or straight*, 15.0% GLBT, 25.0% unknown
5.0% age 01-17, 52.5% age 18-35, 22.5% age 36-65, 10.0% age 66+, 10.0% other
25.0% upper, 25.0% middle, 45.0% working, 5.0% other
80.0% able or implied able, 20.0% disabled

I’ll also provide raw data so you can see how the characteristics line up with each other. I average 3.325 characters per story. (These are named characters and/or significant characters, not walk-ons.)

RAW DATA ON PROTAGONISTS

female, Native American, straight*, 18-35, working, able
male, Caucasian, straight, 36-65, upper, able
male, unknown, GLBT, 36-65, upper, able
female, unknown, straight, 18-35, middle, able
female, unknown, GLBT, 36-65, middle, able
female, Caucasian, straight*, 18-35, working, disabled
male, alien, unknown, unknown, upper, able
male, unknown, GLBT, 18-35, working, disabled
female, unknown, straight*, 18-35, working, able
female, Caucasian, unknown, 18-35, working, disabled
male, Caucasian, GLBT, 66+, middle, able
male, Caucasian, straight, 36-65, upper, able
male, Asian-American, unknown, 18-35, upper, able
male, unknown, straight*, 18-35, upper, able
female, unknown, straight*, 18-35, working, able
female, Caucasian, straight, 66+, middle, disabled
female, unknown, straight*, 18-35, working, able
male, alien, unknown, 18-35, working, disabled
male, unknown, straight*, 36-65, middle, able
male, unknown, unknown, 36-65, working, able
female, Hispanic, unknown, 18-35, upper, able
male, unknown, straight, 18-35, working, able
male, unknown, straight*, 36-65, middle, able
female, Caucasian, straight, 66+, middle, able
male, Caucasian, unknown, 18-35, middle, able
male, Caucasian, straight, 18-35, working, able
male, Caucasian, unknown, 0-17, middle, able
male, unknown, straight*, unknown, upper, able
male, alien, straight, 18-35, working, able
female, unknown, straight*, varies, varies, able
female, Caucasian, straight, 66+, working, disabled
male, African-American, unknown, 36-65, upper, able
female, Caucasian, GLBT, 18-35, working, disabled
male, Arab, straight, 36-65, working, able
female, unknown, straight, 18-35, working, disabled
female, unknown, straight*, 18-35, upper, able
male, unknown, straight*, 0-17, working, able
female, unknown, straight*, 18-35, middle, able
female, Asian, unknown, 18-35, working, able
other, machine, unknown, n/a, n/a, able

One story has no protagonist: Civilization.

Diversity statistics

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:20:14 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I decided to put my money where my mouth is. I’ve said I’m committed to diverse characters in my fiction. Am I doing it?

I analyzed all of my published and circulating stories. I tracked six attributes:

1. Gender
2. Race
3. Sexual orientation
4. Age
5. Class
6. Ability/disability

I looked at 133 characters. Some of the classifications were tough. What class is a human girl trapped in a deer’s body? Is an alien in the bathroom faucet part of the working class? Are deities fully able, by definition?

Anyway. I did my best to sort it out, and here are the results.

1. GENDER

42.9% female
51.8% male
5.3% other (aliens, machines, divine beings)

Pretty straightforward.

2. RACE

The trouble here is that race is often not mentioned, especially if the protagonist is the narrator. I went solely with what’s written on the page (not what was in my head as the author). Very few racial indicators are explicitly mentioned, but sometimes they can be inferred from context and story. For example, a Polish Christian is reasonably likely to be Caucasian; an 11th century Islamic ceramics merchant is pretty likely to be Arab. “Unknown” means that there are no clues whatsoever about race in the text.

33.8% Caucasian
6.0% Asian/Asian-American
6.0% Divine
5.3% Alien
4.5% Native American
3.8% Arab/Arab-American
3.8% Hispanic
3.0% African/African-American
1.5% Machine
32.3% Unknown

Given that “white is the default” and many readers assume white characters unless told otherwise, here’s another way to look at those numbers:

66.1% white, actual or implied/defaulted
21.1% people of color
12.8% unclassifiable

I’m not saying that any character whose race goes unmentioned must be white. However, it’s worth noting that some readers will perceive the numbers this way.

3. SEXUAL ORIENTATION

While sexual orientation isn’t always explicit either, I found it easier to infer a character’s identity based on their thoughts. At least that’s true in my stories, which might be because I write about love and romance a lot. So here I have two kinds of straight: Straight which is “quite likely heterosexual”, and straight* which is “the character shows interest in the opposite sex, but we can’t rule out bisexuality.” Unknown means there’s no indication in any direction.

17.3% straight
31.6% straight* (could be bisexual)
9.0% GLBT
57.9% unknown

By the same logic as above (that many readers assume heterosexuality unless told otherwise) it looks like this:

91.0% straight
9.0% GLBT

If you’re curious, it’s 4 bisexual, 4 gay, 3 lesbian, and 1 transgendered character.

4. AGE

I thought I’d see if I was defaulting to young heroes and heroines, or representing a wider part of the population. Most ages were possible to infer from the text.

12.8% ages 0-17
42.1% ages 18-35
24.1% ages 36-65
5.3% ages 66+
6.8% n/a (mostly divine beings and machines)
6.0% unknown
2.9% varies (the story covers full lifetimes)

The number categories are somewhat arbitrary.

5. CLASS

I was surprised at how easy this was to infer from characters’ access to resources, regardless of what the story was about.

0.8% ruling class
21.8% upper class
17.3% middle class
44.2% working class
8.3% n/a (mostly divine beings and machines)
5.3% unknown
2.3% varies (the story covers full lifetimes)

These categories are nebulous. I just did my best to sort characters based on their jobs, living conditions, histories, and so on.

6. ABILITY

This category was tricky, because you can’t really say a character is fully able without knowing a lot about them. So there’s only two categories here.

88.0% able or implied able
12.0% disabled

The disabilities included cerebral palsy, deafness, mental illness, chronic pain, depression, social anxiety, limited movement, speech impediments, epilepsy, and others.

CONCLUSIONS

I’ll let you draw your own.

But here’s what I learned. Diversity matters. Reflecting the real world matters. Just the act of sorting all my characters increased my awareness of these issues. It brought up questions and assumptions in my mind. Is class a matter of income, lifestyle, or both? If I write sexual orientation clearly in my fiction and race not so often, does that reflect my own experience as a queer white writer or does it reflect inherent differences in the nature of those two “isms”? And on a side note, where the heck are all my Jewish characters? Maybe that’s just chance…

Anyway, I was surprised at how many working-class and disabled characters appeared in my fiction. I was also surprised at how few people of color and older characters populated my stories.

Overall, the number-crunching didn’t take very long (perhaps five hours), and it was well worth it for the learning experience.

I certainly don’t think writers should shove diversity in people’s faces. But there’s plenty of ways to give subtle cues that work very well. Like these:

Blatant bad example: “Johnny looked in the mirror. Yep. Still Mexican.”
Better example: “Johnny smelled home when he entered the kitchen. Only his mother’s cooking smelled like roast turkey, enchiladas, and horchata on Thanksgiving Day.”

I’ve heard the arguments that class/race/whatever is often irrelevant to a character in a story. Sure, that’s true sometimes. I hate stories where a character “needs” to be female (for example) simply because she must fall in love or get pregnant, and heaven help us if we have a female starship captain just for the heck of it.

But really, all these social elements influence a character’s outlook and interaction with the world. And while sometimes they aren’t explicit, they do influence the character’s experience. They’re part of that character and they deserve our respect as writers and readers.

Effectively, here’s what this means for writers: If you know your character’s background, you have a tool for making that character come to life in your story. If you don’t, that character will tend to reflect your own experience–and that’s often why characters come out flat or indistinguishable, rather than as individuals that readers love as real people. And for readers: Question your assumptions. Are you assuming that character is just like you? Did you stop to think about it?

Comments? Questions? Other stats I should try to pull from these numbers?

Submitting frenzy

Sun, 31 May 2009 18:51:44 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I just re-submitted 7 stories to various markets this morning. I have 2 that I’ll send tomorrow (the markets don’t open until June 1). I have 2 left in inventory that I can’t find a home for at the moment, but I’ll keep looking. I have 4 stories that are nearly ready to send out for the first time once I finish revising them, which I hope will happen this week.

To quote Rayman Raving Rabbids, “DAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Not fair!

Fri, 29 May 2009 16:34:56 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

Everyone else who got the con crud at WisCon is saying, “It’s only a minor cold, not a big deal.”

I haven’t been this sick since norovirus. Now my voice loss is total, and I’m coughing up all sorts of crap and sleeping most of the day. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like a very small brick had lodged itself in my sinuses.

Not that I want anyone else to be sick too, but this sucks!

In other news of whining, I may have to take a sledgehammer to the laundry room. It’s not like the machines ever work anyway.

Home from WisCon

Thu, 28 May 2009 03:48:02 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

A fantastic con, as always. I’m home now and I’ve got con crud. It’s a nasty cough, sore throat, and near-total laryngitis. I’m prone to losing my voice. It happens once every 2-3 years or so. It always feels weird to me when I can type but not talk.

Beats the hell out of norovirus, though.

Hello to everyone I met this year!

WisCon panels

Wed, 20 May 2009 16:51:25 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

Fri 9 AM -12 PM Writers’ Workshop

Sat 11:30 AM - 1 PM Journeyman Writers’ Discussion

Sat 4 PM - 5:30 PM Taboo 2: Electric Bugaloo

Sun 2:30 PM - 4 PM Young Writer Q&A

Mon 10 AM - 11:30 AM Getting It Wrong Gracefully

WisCon reading

Wed, 20 May 2009 16:42:45 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

I’ll be reading in Taboo 2: Electric Bugaloo. It’s the sequel to last year’s Taboo reading. We’ll read our edgiest work and won’t pull any punches. The readers are myself, Ted Kosmatka, Rachel Swirsky, and Jennifer Pelland. Last year, we made the audience cringe–but everyone stayed to hear more. Stories involved worshipping feces, kissing dead dogs, and other taboo topics.

Taboo 2 will be from 4:00-5:30 PM on Saturday in Conference Room 2. We’ll be raffling off prizes again. Come hear what our new Taboos are.

I’ll be reading “Fulgurite,” which is published in the brand-new Sybil’s Garage #6.

Here’s the opening paragraph.

Fulgurite
by Vylar Kaftan

JULY 11

I will be struck by lightning on July 13. I know this because I saw a unicorn in the desert sky earlier tonight. Its cockroach body and feathered wings cast shadows on the ground. Lightning forked from its horn, like decisions in my life. Decision to move to Phoenix: fork. Decision to finish my degree: fork. Decision to date Maddoc: fork. All the lives I rejected flash across the sky and are gone, except the one that will strike me. In two days, on a Thursday. Thursday the Thirteenth.

You’ll hear the whole story at the reading.

16 horrific human growths

Sat, 16 May 2009 23:57:29 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

The 16 most horrific human growths of all time.

Work-safe, but not for the faint of heart. Seriously. I warned you.

And it’s further proof that I’m only squeamish about movies/motion. Still photos are pretty much fine, even when they’re gross. I feel sympathy for some of these people, especially the ones who can’t afford surgery.

I think the pine tree inside the guy’s lung is the one that freaked me out the most.

An attempt at the most boring post ever

Sat, 16 May 2009 00:53:28 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

In 2007, I bought two plain t-shirts at JC Penney’s, where I never shop. I just needed new clothes for a trip and the store was convenient.

Last year, I got notice of a class action lawsuit. Penney’s had done… something. I ignored it.

Last week, I got a card in the mail that gave me $10 off a $10 purchase as settlement for the lawsuit. Basically, something free from Penney’s. Well, okay then. I went to the store and tried on some stuff. Nothing fit or looked good.

So I went back to the same rack where I bought two t-shirts before, and bought two more t-shirts of the same brand and style. In different colors. Total cost: $2.18.

This post has no point. And I think I’m the kind of customer JC Penney’s would like to see spontaneously combust.

Journeyman Writers Meeting

Fri, 15 May 2009 13:30:58 GMT

Originally published at Vylar Kaftan. You can comment here or there.

Like last year. If you have any questions, just ask. If you’re on a panel and won’t have time to get your lunch, let me know; I’m probably sending Husband Delivery Services out for myself, and he may be able to pick up a few things.

I’m sorry this is scheduled against the ally meeting, but that’s the way things came out.

Name Journeyman Writers Meeting
Track(s) The Craft and Business of Writing

Description A round–table discussion for anyone with one or more SFWA–qualifying sales. A chance to talk about craft, business, and anything else that strikes our fancy. Bring your own lunch.

Location 629
Schedule Sat 11:30AM - 1:00PM
Panelists M: Vylar Kaftan